BonBonism

50年

2011-06-15T22:40:00.004+08:00

50年是一段很奇妙的时间，它长得很。

曾经我把这句话挂在嘴边，说得真心也浪漫~

-如果这是真爱，50年后回头我不会后悔牵着你的手-

我在等，一个不是现在，而是50年后让我真心对她说出这番话的人

或许会感动流泪，加上个充满着爱与温馨的拥抱，或者什么都不说

两个人静静的，仰望着天空，回想当年相爱的时候...

这张照片，几年前偷拍的。

他们肯定还没有携手共度50年，但我知道他们恋爱中...

找回一些些

2011-05-28T21:14:00.003+08:00

每一次回来这个地方，就总会想办法找个开头的方式来写，
或许这就跟我做人的方式一样，不太直接又爱拐弯抹角，
其实这只是我需要一些时间，步骤来准备心情罢了，就只是那样。

好，反正准备过了！那么我可以好好的说我的心情，我的想法。
我想说我找回了一些些自己，找回了生活中的方向，找回了呼吸节奏！
或许是现在每2个礼拜就回家一趟，心情不同了很多，自己的家就是不同！
心情恢复正常，呼吸也顺畅，工作上生活上一切似乎都很顺利，我很好！

虽然我还在逃避一个人，一些事情，但我觉得我很快就可以克服
心虽然伤透了，但是因为这世界对我很好，所以那伤口会复原
所以，就这样吧~

忽然发觉，已经好久好久都不attach图片了...
既然，找回了一些些...

RnH KL Animators love Ruth Daly

2011-05-04T21:45:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Ruth Daly, our supervisor in LA that trained us during our apprenticeship and the AnimFuntamental training. It has been a hard time for her to taking care of us, leading us to success. ( it's great that to see her pets and lovely family through VC also, especially her 2 adorable children Liam and Owen.)

It has been almost 8 months long, we have been building up a good relationship, good team work, greatest spirit for the animation team together with her, feeling grateful. Nothing much I would say, but we took these pictures for her, hope the sweet memories and good relationship carry on~

She still in my mind

2011-03-08T21:10:00.002+08:00

一年了...
一年前她离开了我们，那温柔似乎也带走了。
一年后，我们好像已经渐渐习惯，接受了。
一年了，这个时候再次想起,再次怀念了...

或许可以让我哭泣一次，落泪一次
来证明我有情感，我会发泄心中阵阵沉闷...

婆婆，很想念您...
想再次跟您说，我长大了

Just to let you know

2011-02-19T01:02:00.003+08:00

Really,now I feel that is really important

-to let someone really understand about me, atleast one

I'm pretty sure this is 2011

2011-01-02T15:09:00.002+08:00

Hello,to this space that I've abandoned for quite a long time.
it's either I've been so busy,or I got really nothing to share online
or maybe just that,I want to keep my personal life more personal.

true,that's all true...

So,what? why am I here again? I guess,I just want to write something
more about myself,and what I've done in the past few months.

To the work,which I guess I would more emphasis on
I think,I didn't really do it well,try my best on everything.
I still quite rely on others,instead of being independent to build up my skill.
the apprenticeship is going to end soon,and I've no idea would I get it or not?
I hope,everything is fine...not just a hope,but a big desperation.

To the personal,my temper & selfishness still there,I though it's missing...
maybe,it's because I didn't face it,I didn't get the chance to proof that,
so I thought it has been gone,I thought I've been good
but,not...nope...no. I still have to do hard,and watching myself well.

and I really wish I could really really manage my personal stuffs nicely,
I really hope,things go smooth,I pray you,the great universe...

I think,that might be all of it...still,I'm keeping something for myself,as usual
and I guess,that might be a new year resolution for 2011
happy new year =D

原来怎么样？

2010-09-16T05:40:00.002+08:00

现在是早上6点差不多这样，其实有点累但就是不想睡觉
不需要上课，因为毕业了；不需要上班，因为还有几天后才是...
又或者这样说今天是假日，9月16日----马来西亚日
（8月31日是Malaya联合邦独立罢了，真正的Malaysia是由，Malaya+Sabah+Sarawak+Singapore
成立于9月16日。过后可怜的小新被排挤所以含泪退出，成立了今天自强不息，发展蓬勃的Singapore~)
可是我压根没有兴致谈马来西亚日，完全没有....对不起亲爱的祖国

说到底，毕业了几个礼拜我都在干嘛？
责骂弟弟，结果他几天不跟我讲话，哎....小孩子难教
（现在开始我真的会讨厌喝酒来解烦恼的人，说真-我接受不到咯）
除了被某个人放了飞机之外，都在家乡跟老朋友见面
然后天天都很迟睡觉，天天都很迟起床，都在浪费时间
然后剪了一头超短发，干什么？很简单，新形象，新生活
有了工作当然要有一个干净整洁的形象(噢，很不像我的风格）

然后几乎天天都在念一本叫做《了凡四训》的书，
学习很多的人生道理，道德教育，修身养性，做个好人
那本书，我从房东书架那边A来，算是坏事...(对不起，会放回去的）

然后还有什么？应该没有了...

想念你的短发

2010-09-02T03:44:00.001+08:00

忽然之间想念你的短发...
或许不是短发，而是爱上你的那一幕那感觉

还很清晰

说给自己

2010-08-04T05:52:00.004+08:00

几年前，有段时间，几个月，我死过
逃避了整个世界，逃避了自己，还有什么？
那种日复一日无意义的活着，跟死没差
为那一段时间逝去的自己，哀悼...

后来醒了，发觉失去了很多很多重要的
后悔过，哭过，没疯过，没崩溃，还活着
那是段非常羞耻的时期，但我没有掩饰过
但却从来没有给自己一个清楚的交代
来证明自己那次之后，我从新活着！

那一次死亡，死掉了忧郁思想，死掉了固执
复活后并没有带来什么，却知道怎么好好的活
学会了扛不起放下也是种责任，人说量力而为
也学会了责任里的轻重之分，谁前谁后
摆脱了青少年狂妄自大，目无尊长的愚蠢思想
清楚了小不忍则乱大谋，去学习收敛脾气
也知道，其实爱情非常懦弱，手一松就散开

也从此在心中烙着，家人永远排在第一位

或许因为不提，所以那段时期一直是心里的痛
经历过的，一直学不好来，甚至还重蹈复测
但无所谓，人毕竟一定会犯错，只怕学不乖
现在的我跟自己这样说“是时候告诫自己”

--------------------------------------------------------------

即将毕业，一个阶段的人生即将开始
很多事情必须做得更好，必须更脚踏实地
必须给自己将背负的责任做好更完善的准备
必须更独立，减少依赖，学会做决定
已经踏进了自己梦想，就一定要走完它
期望自己那一天回头看，会欣慰自己做得到

别去管成熟与否，因为每个人定义不一样
只要还呼吸着，太阳还照耀着，明天还是一样会来
活得开心，并不让人担心，这样就是最好的了

I used to say
" if a hole representing a mistake, I don't mind to add more in my life."

but this time,I got to add
" if there is a hole,you must fix it up and to make it better."

意义

2010-06-23T01:27:00.002+08:00

相信很多人都有费尽心思去思考人生意义
或许是对生活的空虚不满才让自己烦恼这个问题
最近有人怀疑了自己生存的意义，觉得活下来很空虚
想结束一些事情却又觉得犹豫，绑手绑脚...

看了十分心疼，当时心情是复杂的，想说...何必呢？
但当下没把自己想法说出，因为想知道其实她怎么想？
却在隔天听了一位我崇拜的长辈的言论，大概得了一些启示

基本上大概分为以下

1）做个有用的人
2）$ or satisfaction？
3) 我们的职责/贡献？
4）快乐？
5）等等等......................

有用的人？怎么说？
大概是，如果你觉得什么才华都没有
工作表现毫无起色，别放弃自己，别计较
只要做好自己本分，努力的贡献自己能力范围
就算微小的工作，只要能完成它，做好它
那么我想，这就是有用的人！因为好过量马路

$ or satisfaction?职责与奉献？
很多社会新人往往为了前途与钱途而烦恼
有或者，其实当初应征的时候，是以怎么样的想法？
这间公司可以给我什么福利？薪水？事业机会？
或者，我可以为这间公司创造什么机会？付出什么？

当然，前者会是大热门，大家都要多金好福利~
可以升值加薪，获得更好的事业机会
现时生活中不少这样的就业机会，大企业欣赏人才的

果然，后者一定会冷门，自己都怀疑自己，老板更看不起你
不要说升级加薪，如果职位低微公司小，大家都来欺负你
现时生活中理智的人就一定呆不下去，因为小企业难成大器

但是，2者之间其实会有很大的twist，转折点
前者待遇优厚，裁员减薪时老板第一个会想到你
因为长久培养成的虚荣心会计较，恐怕日后很艰难的活下去

后者，在应征时已经有着付出的心理准备，一向来待遇不厚
所以长久以来培养成刻苦耐劳不计较的特性，奉献成了意义
过来人都说有实力的人，不会被社会亏欠

当然你可以不去认同，因为世界千百种，没有一定的结果
你可以说你不缺钱，但是你必须去找出自己生活中的满足
不满足且空虚的生活，很难会有意义，但前提---你要付出！
然后别太计较什么定义，因为“泰山不让土壤故能成其大”
然后......大企业欣赏人才的，其实谁能够生存下去？

快乐嘛？自得其乐，满足得了自己的人最快乐
对我来说，吃饭时我很快乐，可以睡到自然醒都很快乐
你打电话给我也快乐，其实我很容易被满足，所以我很快乐
这就是我的生存意义，你的呢？

后提...
我不知道其实私人助理是不是同等秘书？
我看戏看书看报纸大概认为是服侍老板的女人
婚外情对象，办公室色情片女主角.................
当然，我相信你不会是！哈哈哈，我信任你嘛！

不管工作性质多么无聊乏味没有前途，其中都会有意义
总有一天你会得到你所要的，但你必须经历很多乏味的经验
我是这样相信的，所以加油！

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

这边，一些话一些生活上的事情
有个好朋友，大我3岁，我们互称兄弟，中学时期认识
我们一年见面不超过3次，但是我们却十分有默契
最近他说 “我在等死...."
原因，心脏肿大了几倍，压力造成，没得医，等死
我笑着问他，等死这段时间怎么样？
他说“剩下的时间还是拼命做工，拼命赚钱，都给与家里”
我笑了，掩饰我们之间不必要的沉默，我们不喜欢安慰

老实说，我一向来敬佩他
中学毕业后18，19岁骑着摩托车来回40多公里上班
20岁开始公司就对他器重，人才一个！其他公司陆续挖角
不管换了几间公司，他人际却越来越广，不管什么管道
单亲家庭的他，是家里一家3口的主要经济支柱
他不在乎衣服穿得多美，不在乎饭菜多美味，电话多先进
最主要是家里有足够的钱来支持生活，他不自私，真的
如果说他最奢侈的满足，大概是周末睡到下午才起床

虽然他一个星期的酒量可以灌溉肥田，但那是生意上的应酬
他很努力的应酬，很努力的喝，为的是谈妥生意，但健康呢？
可是比起其他人心情烦躁而喝酒，和朋友快乐而喝酒，意义不同...

我没办法说些什么，毕竟我身边很多这样的类似案件
只教了我2堂课我却非常尊敬的癌症讲师，去年癌症去世的女校长何秋华女士，等等
(我学院太多人患上癌症，风水出问题......................)但是，他们很积极的活着，活过！
就算知道自己患病，也没说过放弃！积极的活着每一天，激励着身边的每一个人！
或许，他们把每一天都当成最后一天，所以很努力...

所以，好朋友，兄弟，我明白你的意思，加油吧！

theory of pig

2010-06-15T01:35:00.003+08:00

well...let's do some theory

human=eat+sleep+work+play
pig =eat+sleep

human=pig+work+play
human-play=pig+work

conclusion: human who doesn't know how to play
equal with " a working pig "

------------------------------------------------------------

Men=eat+sleep+earn money
pig =eat+sleep

Men=Pig+earn money
pig=Men-earn money

conclusion: Men who don't earn money equal with pig

-------------------------------------------------------------

Women=eat+sleep+spend money
pig =eat+sleep

Women=pig+spend money
Women-spend money= Pig

conclusion= Women who don't spend money equal with Pig

-------------------------------------------------------------

well.....everything,

Men earn money because they don't want women become pig
Women spend money because they don't want men become pig

I saw it from some where else =DDDD

完美情人

2010-06-13T06:15:00.002+08:00

我想我是那种满头脑爱情的人
女朋友在身边的话不需要吃饭
没联络的话睡个觉梦里会有她

帮帮忙拜托，你不需要这样
爱一个人必须给于彼此呼吸的空间
爱她同时也疼爱自己，知道吗？我同我自己说

我想我是那种自责心很重的人
总觉得自己做得不够给得不多
斗个嘴吵了架会惭愧一万个钟

你白痴你笨蛋，你不需要这样
幸运的你没有遇见贪心的人
爱一个人不是说你付出多少就得多少，互相了解很重要

我当我是超人我当我是神
我想要事事完美每一秒都精彩
爱情里每一个画面都有完美构图及角度
我一直想我要做个完美情人

现实世界中完美的事物并不漂亮
生活上的小瑕疵会让你更有归宿感
小小缺口空间会让你呼吸得更畅快
不造假的画面会让你的眼睛更舒服
轻松的爱才会让一对情人爱的长久

完美情人？哈哈！我猜你说:算了吧~

给我的女神

2010-05-29T19:04:00.003+08:00

轻微的失眠，让我最近的夜晚越来越长
闭上眼睛容易胡思乱想，只因自己是个天真，且没有有安全感的人
也因你不在我身边，名誉上不是我的谁，我害怕
我怎么也不会感到安全，怎么也会被慌乱埋没了理性
好比一只流浪猫...

时常和你争论，只为了想满足自己无知的想法
其实你对我的了解已经足够，我后知后觉而已
无可否认，我必须败给你的细腻，我的想法绝对无可及
但没有想过要赢你，虽然挑起问题的总是我，让你失望的总是我
我不聪明，在错误中屡屡学不乖，请你原谅

但由始至终，我都深深明白心里最爱的那个人是你
当然，我会更深爱我的家人，你会赞同的

是否记得我说过我要成为一个好人，品德，思想，行为上
然后，我要你从中提醒我，如果我错的话
我还记得你的回答，深深记得...
所以我希望你能谅解，我正在学习中

我惹你生气的时候，可以按照你的方式去处理
我不知道需要多久时间去发觉，因为我不是个聪明的人
可是我会记得我答应过什么，就算不为了你
以一个成为好人的决心来做宗旨，我会尽力

我的确不了解你，但我希望以后的日子里我会
坚固的爱情需要通过时间的考验才能巩固
我们会一起见证这一切

谢谢你让我进入你内心世界中
谢谢你出现在我的人生中

标题有些重，但对我来说
绝对别无他人

Now that she's gone

2010-03-22T03:13:00.002+08:00

其实我觉得这是一场闹剧，不应该发生
然后我很可能还期盼着放假，回去探望她的日子
听着她唠叨这个那个，或者诉说往事描述我没有印象的画面
或者我还期盼毕业后赚到的薪水给她买些补品让她补补身子
更奢望的是让她能够等我结婚后抱抱自己的内曾孙

现在什么都做不到...
留在脑中最后的画面，是大年初一我陪父母回槟城前
在她房间里欲塞下一笔数目给我当生活费
而我却拒绝她的那失望表情...

一切只停留在那里...

她叫古亚莲，惠州人，享年77岁
我的祖母，我的婆婆

婆婆，她走了...
我能说什么？我还接受不了...
曾经思考过如果婆婆去世时，我一定号啕大哭崩溃的
如今，我没有....为什么？

曾经很遗憾，有次婆婆病得很严重
听觉视觉精神都是一团糟
家人轮流照顾婆婆，日夜守护
然而那时我却忙着工作，怎么也只陪过她几个小时
她不是我最敬爱的婆婆吗？但为什么我当时会那样？
想不起来，或许我在逃避...那一段记忆，是模糊的

近几年我很努力的陪在婆婆身边
每当放假回乡就抽时间探望她，尽个做孙子的责任
但总觉得不够，怎么都缺少了那么一些些
或者陪伴总是不够，但安慰自己...我做到了

从婆婆口中听来，从小就是她在照顾我
从喝的奶粉，吃的粥都必须由她照料
因为我不能随便喝别的奶粉，不然随时入院
粥不能太稠太水必须适中，要不然我不吃
婴儿时期被她养得白白胖胖，乳名“猪仔”由此而来
然而，由自己记忆中的画面，我和婆婆是形影不离
她去到哪我跟到哪，而人人称我为乖孙，因为是真的很乖
也还记得刚上小学走路回家在小档子第一次买水果给婆婆
小时候我也曾经因为婆婆去旅行不在我身边而哭泣闹情绪
然后爸妈带我搬离那个大家庭后，记忆越来越模糊...

从我会谈恋爱以来，
我一直很想带个女朋友去探望我婆婆
让我所爱的人知道，我有个很疼爱我的婆婆
也让我婆婆知道她孙子喜欢怎么样的女生
但是对我前女友们来说，探望这个老前辈她们总是摇头
所以至今没有实现过.....但也没有以后

现在我开始想...
每每放假回家，我少了一探望的对象，多了一个空缺
每年新年，是否还能如常回去老家拜年？
我担心的，堂兄弟姐妹的感情是否越来越淡？
我害怕的，已经有心结的整个家庭会否会各分东西逐渐散掉？
我想不了那么多...我不敢想

我曾经暗许过愿意将自己的寿命减少来让婆婆活得更久更健康
这的确见效过，最危险的时期挨过了几年，但这次她却走了...
我没有陪在她身边，看不到她最后一眼
弟弟拨电来通知的那个清晨，像是一场梦

两个礼拜了过去了，我还是接受不了
我泪流得不多，心也没很痛
但是我知道我不需要流泪，我不需要崩溃
因为我记得我对婆婆说的话

"我已经长大了...”

The greatest love,ultimate brave

2010-03-02T03:23:00.003+08:00

This is another touching Tv ads from Taiwan, adopted from a true story
An old lady who doesn't know English, visiting her daughter in US.
She own self flied for 3 days,transferred 4 planes
she doesn't know any single English word, how difficult?
well...watch this

touching?
A true love
I love you,my family...

No Plastic bag day

2010-02-21T13:34:00.003+08:00

Because of I don't buy newspaper here,I'm totally outdated now.
But it's really great to know this, NO PLASTIC BAG DAY~
it's a campaign running on every Saturday in state of Selangor, Malaysia
I didn't realize and I was doing grocery shopping at Jusco Suway Pyramid,
luckily just only a bottle of fruit juice and mineral water,put in to my bag~

It's important to let people know the importance of go green,saving this planet
Don't think "it's just a small plastic bag", it's part of the cause of Global warming
Don't think "I'm not doing,coz Others will be doing",this is wrong!

Saving this planet,is our responsibility!
We live on it,rely everything on her
and this is the time she needs us

Although now it's just no plastic bag on Saturday,but it means a lot to her
and maybe,we can make it everyday in future, less relying on plastic bag

For our home,earth
GO GREEN~! people

p/s: poster too small you can't see....it's written,
"who still needs the plastic bag, 20 cents will be charge for one~"

But I think, 20cents won't change you a more greater home. ;)

Valentine's Day

2010-02-20T03:08:00.003+08:00

well...it's passed
it's lovely,romantic,wonderful day to lovely couples
and maybe it's lonely,sarcastic to some people...err,like me?haha
any way I'm not talking the Valentine's day
but Valentine's day the movie,yes is the movie!

not so commercial film, sweet and nice which I really like
although blackberry phone all around,but still ok...
I'm not really going to tell the story,just to sharing some though,

I quite like it,all about love but not so traditional
telling the truth behind love that you reckon it's true
Open your heart,and you found it's so close to you...

well...Valentine's day

they said,married your best friend...

Not only have sex with one person...

you don't like love shape candy...

and take your cup and cheers,say that 3 words
L E T ' S G E T N A K E D

(well....terms and condition applies ;3 )

hahaha......ok

just hope that,next year I won't be alone
and I could say I Love You loudly ~

love

有些无言

2010-02-09T05:41:00.003+08:00

还是一样...
自己还没有变，心还是一样的坏
还是放不下一些恩怨，心眼还是一样的小小
还是一样自大，还可以说我进化成了魔头
怎么越来越糟？

明明时常都叮咛着自己做人要宽容
临睡前不断催眠着自己绝对要谦虚
时时刻刻都灌输自己要以德待人
不管怎么样都很想把自己训练成好人

结果最近怎么越来越差？？
自己是思想派的错？走火入魔？

怎么样都不对...
是否现在遇到问题，都该全部归纳为自己的错？
是否这样我可以更加明白是非对错？

或者我想说...我还在学习变善当中
请不要阻止我所经历及领悟
静静的我不知道什么是对错？
我只想把握所理解到的说出来
倘若我错，请大大声的纠正我...

是这样吧？
唉.......不想说了，有些自卑
睡觉去

名字

2010-02-04T01:48:00.002+08:00

前阵子结交一些朋友的时候，都会遇到这个问题
"why don't you have a Christian name? it could be more easier to memorize"
(为什么你不取个洋名？这样我会比较容易记着)
还有个我个人觉得，蛮过分...
" I probably will forget your name few days later..."
(可能过几天后我会把你的名字忘记...)

为什么呀？哈哈哈，我个人觉得超好笑的
为什么我一定要取个洋名才能让你记得我？
不过，的确嘛~曾经因为跟风也取了洋名，意义何在？tak tahu~
或许真的是为了交际方便，来个简易方便优雅大方的名字来留个深刻印象
但是，为啥我们亚洲人,而且偏偏是华人特别喜欢为自己冠上个洋名
是不是对自己的名字没有信心？崇洋心理作祟？
为了讨好外国人而抛弃一个属于自己真正身份代表的名字
为什么呀？我真的不了解~

因为不知道什么时候，个人有了这种想法
名字不止是一个称号，也不止是个身份象征
它是个价值，是一面镜子，反映着我们的尊严

当我们向人们介绍自己的时候，需自豪的用上自己的大名
这代表着我对我自己有着十分的把握，完全不虚假的利用别名来掩饰自己
也代表着我自己诚心诚意的与您结识，打交道

这是一个字----------诚

我珍惜我的名字，我以拥有它为荣
正是因为我父母赐它予我，代表着我的身世，父母的期盼
总有一日我光宗耀祖，此名显赫，依然代表着我的家族

这是一个字----------忠

这只是一些些一点点，名字并不是一言一语能说完
它对你的意义有多重大？因人而异
我个人只因这"以己为尊则尊予他人" 为准则

如果你要跟我做朋友却不记得我真正的名字
那么我是否该说，你并没有真心与我做朋友？
尊重我的名字=尊重我的人

我叫彭宝辉

Yup,audience who can't read chinese,so sorry~coz this is not for westernized people
but basically this is about name,an identity for your own self.
You can call me BonBon,of Philvan~
but if you respect me as your friend,please do remember my real name

Pang Poh Hui

这样最好

2010-01-13T20:23:00.002+08:00

nothing much to say,bcoz it's just better

( yea~short hair girl)

You Knew it

2010-01-13T05:19:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me why?
you knew it I hate questions...
and probably you'd just throw them back to me

Speechless...
Emptiness...
I wish I could

Such an indescribable person
unforgivable...........myself,nobody
nothing,but so real
Don't ask me,I know you will be here

Hi new year

2010-01-03T03:18:00.004+08:00

A brand new 2010!
A brand new semester!
have to be a brand new myself!

ok,first time I have to follow these,fortune teller words
(usually I don't give a damn for it,but this time have to follow coz it's related to study)

Be more patience and good temper,don't fight with others
Be more hard working,coz result going be sucks and terrible
Be more careful to health and take care of any family members

so,everything really have to be more careful

Wish me good luck~ love you,2010

Blog about

2009-12-24T01:33:00.002+08:00

I don't know...just blog about

I have a good friend who can really talk,I mean can talk means really nice to talk with
( no matter how embrassing it's,including you are underwearless or not)
Her name is Pern Tan Sze Mun, I didn't write it wrong this time for sure
As she said, Pern means Apple in Thai, Apple=Pern ; Thai language time
So in common sense, this apple is a Thai product. Don't worry,no TomYum taste
oh NO! wrong wrong wrong,she is not a pure apple import from Thai
This Apple is mixed,but so far quality still ok ok lah

If your name is Daniel Tan "Kee" Yau (sorry for using this name,but 7 yeng lah),
I will call you Daniel Tan,for sure~7 yeng
But then she hates ppl calling her Pern Tan,
coz it just sounds like"Ben dan" means Stupid in Mandrin~
it could be same with Monica Cheng (touch your butt in Hokkien)
Hi, Pern Tan,buah epal yang bodoh

Beside this,the name problem~she got nothing much special
except she looks like Malay and while puasa that time
she still eating to make ppl @@ at her,interesting~Unique
Ok lah,her market is wide~Pure chinese girl,you galah

She,memanglah short enough~until I can just put my hand there naturally
As in Arm rest or can turn her head for fun~turn turn turn ( don't patah yah)
and is very sorry to put on a female identity on her.........
coz she always lepak with guys,just let us feel like she is a guy too~
( can understand lah, Thailand famous with transexual mah~)

She very nice to talk,I said again~really nice to talk with
Believe me,if not you sendiri go to visit her Recycle Bin
http://natelppa.blogspot.com/
throw more rubbish there~

Sing along song-Khalil Fong

2009-12-24T01:28:00.002+08:00

I wrote this song it's not too long
cos' I've been thinking 'bout you
I wrote this song maybe I'm wrong
To be caught up about you

Well I dont know what you think 'bout me
Maybe you think nothing at all
But maybe you could just lie to me
And we could be in love you see

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

I wrote this song it's not too long
Cos' I'm the one who loves you
I wrote this song this can't be wrong
I don't wanna smile without you

Well I just want to make you happy
but maybe you want nothing at all
and how I wish that you're meant to be
forever and a day with me

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

In everyway you mean more to me
than you'll ever know
girl I'll do my best to show these words are true
and if you'd like to make a song
and be a perfect harmony with me
I'd find the greatest words sing
so we could write our own romance

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long
It's when I think about you that I hear songs
And you can singalong maybe if you want to
Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

烂脾气

2009-12-13T02:43:00.002+08:00

第一次，心情不好换了个对象唠叨
第一次，为了最喜欢的科目不开心
很多次，被人家的不准时搞到很头晕
不是第一次，对着组员发脾气...我不是组长

我想，是不是我的问题？
如果有人回答我...那是我的烂脾气

脾气，很快就收.............但是，这衰运几时才离我远去？

无言

2009-12-11T02:16:00.002+08:00

真的无言...为自己无言
三更半夜什么都不想碰，很懒很懒
其实，这种情况发生了将近2个星期
很神奇但我不是懒，我只是提不起那个劲
或许说，无形中各种压力让我放纵得这样
有史以来，在The One Academy我最放纵的一次

短片，影像的东西一向是我最感兴趣的事物
这个学期，很高兴的可以制作一部短片，很高兴当时
因为早已在几个学期前就策划了一堆概念，为的就是这一刻
不否认的，我想当导演！这个我一早就有这样的想法
所以我准备了很多构思，很多不同的概念
想要把这些拍成一部大家看了都会称赞的短片，若干年后都还记得

但事实上，在小组开会时我并没有自荐自己，要担当导演这个职位
因为，我的性格就是这样，我希望由别人推荐，欣赏我的才能而当上
也十分的庆幸我们小组内，除了大家有了点私心
也就是大家都看不到我的热诚以及在这一方面的经验
虽然我也不是那么的优秀，但也确实一桶冷水泼了下来

虽然如此，却还是继续下去...
我不是导演，我的剧本被讲师选中，的确也几高兴，却从此看到危机浮现
我说过，组内大家都有些私心...第六感告诉我，不安全
但却，放开了全部努力做完所有，帮了所有
只因为他们一句"你的故事"...这算什么？我们不是同一组的吗？无言

导演是自荐的，但在策划时，拍摄时什么也不说，什么意见也没有
我不知道，他的"我很喜欢导一部影片"是什么意思？
他的人就是这样，内心的东西还是在内心里
所以我给了一堆概念，一堆技巧，让他好好发挥
我帮了那么多，说了那么多，也让他有自己的空间发挥
但影片水准不到，谁的错？到头来...错全在我身上

我们的领导，也就是监制...也是我们的摄影师
说真的，我真的是他妈的讨厌他到顶！请容许我这样，但我真的很讨厌他！
我明白，什么叫制度化，我明白
因为我曾经因为很执着制度化，所以我是个他妈失败到彻底的领导人
如果你不了解人心，不了解什么叫变通，那个制度化就会把你的组粉化
所以，别谈什么拿了职位，就要100%专职下去
因为我们是人，人性是什么？聪明的话，自己想为什么？
为什么我不是导演，然后失败却又是我的错?

然后请记得，我不是个生来就可以谁是头头我就会服谁的那种好人
如果，你比我不准时，你比我EQ还低，我就一定不会服你！
加上，如果你只会讲到天花乱坠而自己却不实行，我一定会Dulan！

这次，我争做导演，因为我真的想把这最后一次机会好好把握，好好发挥
我知道，我被投以不认同不信任的眼光，我深深明白
说我作品不好？可不可以先看看我的成绩以及作品再好好评论好不好？
虽然，肯定不是最好最瞩目的那一个

但是，我不管，最后一次我决定搏了
剧本不是我自己的，很有挑战，因为有人不让我改变一字一句
剧情平淡，不承认也罢，Storyboard也画了，但十分差
种种问题我不需要说，因为讲师已经很一针见血的说了出来，NO MERCY!
我就是喜欢他这一点，够直够狠！但我无言，当场我真的什么都不想说
以为，我想那个自认剧情很高潮迭起，不让我改剧本的那位自己想

所以，我获得了机会把剧本改了，新的Storyboard讲师十分喜欢
我没有炫耀,因为事实就如此
被之前的拖了拖，我们只剩下1个星期筹备一切
地点还好，演员不是我选的，看也没看过，但是时间限制我没话说
但是，可不可以不要这样？明天要开拍，今天才跟我说？
我没看过演员们，演员们没看过我，大家没有排练过...
来，马上开拍~ 啪！
你要吗？？？我一百万个不愿意....但还是做了

好，10点集合出发............(12点了，人呢？）
最后4点到达，一个小时后，被告知原来那屋主不愿意让我们拍
所以我一直被催，催得我也很急，小孩演员太顽皮，不合作...我无言
我一直迁就，为什么我是那个需要去迁就所有人的导演？！那么我的立场在哪里？
这些根本不是我Storyboard上要求的东西，不是当初概念上该有的、
甚至整个感觉都不对！！！我那几天，好颓丧...

前几天，给了讲师看了Rough cut,十分不满意，他十分惊讶
加上，15分钟的最短要求，我们甚至达不到5分钟...这是什么？
我自己也无言...说了，我不喜欢这样，，很讨厌
甚至，我现在最讨厌的是自己！！！这次，我导得很烂！
我可以当众呐喊？我可以退缩吗？我可以消失吗?

不可以.......

所以，希望这个星期天的补拍，可以很顺利

第一次，这么的失落...
第一次，面对自己最喜欢的东西，泼了自己最冷的一桶水
第一次，我开着人家的部落格，听着她的歌...在自己的部落格写着
（其实我不认识她，同一间学院，不同科系，不同背景，只不过同属一个摄影学会，在那边无意间路过她的部落...因为她也是天秤座，然后...部落的歌很好听。然后早上回家路上看过她真人，就这样）

不是好人

2009-11-06T05:00:00.002+08:00

因为太过自恋，所以一直以来都觉得自己是个好人
我说什么都对都有道理，甚至可以说把自己当成了圣人
在我眼中只要妨碍我，不顺我意的都是坏人烂人
到底这是哪一门心态？如此的丑陋...

哪一天我可以摆脱这心态？
哪一天心中可以平衡？

我没有善良的眼睛，聆听善意的耳朵
所以思想中酝酿邪恶的念头，消极的成分
凡事都消极的面对，开朗没有...

我不爱以他人角度思考，过于自大
往往为我好，却被我伤得乱七八糟

我想我想我想....

如果我是好人，我看到的世界是怎么样？
如果我是好人，我听到的世界是怎么样？

如果，如果.......这真丑陋，对我现在来说

如果我想做个好人？那么我该怎么样？

或许，心中有数...............

Do yours and mine?

2009-09-11T17:10:00.007+08:00

this is a video which has been touched my heart when a lonely afternoon
And I though I would not write any single word for this,
or perhaps I just want to share,upload it and that's all...

I do believe,in this world,
few hundred cities,few million people shared a second
shared a little tiny secret,or perhaps it's not
we walk alone in the cities,subways,and doors
and maybe,online at the same time at Facebook...
Do yours and my time just passing by like a lonely clock pointer?

Perhaps,we meet a person that attracted your heart
beautiful,handsome,pretty face and you feel it right
but we just let them go,and we walked back the same old road
We don't have much emotion,we numb we sucks

A little excitement is needed,just like them in the film
don't be a coward would you?talk to you and me who reading this
perhaps free hugs project should do more or could it's just be a habit?
sometimes,just be so happening,just say yes to people,
so that you won't missed any chances that will bring you something good
Life should be fill with love and lovely things,life should be interesting

If you see chance,would you just hold it tight. Would not you?

Hello blog~

2009-09-10T04:04:00.005+08:00

Hello blog~
sorry for abandon you for quite long time since
last few months were busying for the projects.
Now,I'm coming back to you,but perhaps just temporary
or maybe this is just the only one for this semester.
Anyway,just have a opening to say good luck and
post some previous works,showing what I've done in the
past few months.

here,is the project which "eat" most of my time but
the most enjoyable subject,because we have a very
nice lecturer,Hoe yi,thank you,I feel lucky to be your student

some random works,I will update later....let me kosong here first
(reserved for concept art)

so....after those projects,ofcoz will be the holidays~
what I've done?hmm....what I can say is
the first week,obviously is family week
I spent the whole week with family stuffs
ofcoz,I've visited my granny very often.

The second week,started to work for my friend
the Pikom PC fair,start from thursday(setting up the booth),
busy until sunday,was wake up at 7am went bed at 2am during
those days. And thanks the holy god that letting those pretty girls
working at our booth,they made me feel energizing,that's what supporting me.
Actually I wanted to ask phone number from one of them,but I just too shy
and not daring.I saw people are "cosplaying" nurse & doctor there,not for what,
just to preventing from H1N1,mask man were everywhere.

The third week,my mum woke me up.....but I seemed too lazy
after that,I realised......something
Fever,cough,flu,headache and sore throat all came to me
I knew,it's my fault for didn't wear mask at PC fair
but,it's good to hear that....doctor said it's not H1N1,thanks
But,I just sicked for 2 weeks I think.....................==

so,until the very last week,helped my "old home" a music school
to do their concert,ofcoz I'm not performing,I just do & play the slide show
for the concert,sitting there click and drag only....
although the slide shows had took most lof my free time to do them.
I said please don't last minute to give me those files,but they
still last minute. ==

ok la,as long as.....I took this picture,happy ending~yeah

ofcoz,in the last week at my beloved hometown
met lof of old friends,quite amazing but really happy~
hope still can keep in touch in future,thanks god

So now,it's almost 5am...so what?
I almost stay awake until 5am everyday since I came back to sunway what?
but but but,today is going to be different. why?
because,today...yes,is today.10 sept 2009 is going to be my first class,for the
3rd year 1st sem~! happy new term commence ~!!!!!!!!!!
thanks Hikari greet me that when yesterday morning,meow~~
but it wasn't my first class at that day,hahaha

so so so~let's add oil in this new semester,gambateh DG78!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

一个人住2

2009-06-25T06:10:00.001+08:00

后来，这些都在21岁时发生

我开始很想家，搬出来住之后2年开始发现离开家，离开最熟悉的地方很难过
每离开一公里，眼睛就想再看多一公里，每离开一小时，就算着回家的日子
现在望着天空就会想，为什么没有星星？现在开始慢慢的不适应
我一直认为自己很成熟很独立，或许我父母也这样想
其实，我一天天的在退化...

现在，我时常会很想回家，如果思念会催泪，那么我是否该会流泪？
妈妈说，不需要顾虑那么多，好好的过时间还很多
但是我想对妈妈说，妈妈我听见你的声音却看不到家我怎能不思念不难过？

一个人住，我想撒娇我想诉苦找不到人只因为我只想跟家人说
一个人住，我想要的不是西餐日本餐而是我妈妈煮的家常菜
一个人住，我开始动不动打电话给我弟弟对他碎碎念当作关心
一个人住，我开始不享受这种莫名其妙的自由

其实我知道一切也不是很糟糕，并没有那么惨，真的
如果你说我太过寂寞乱写东西我可以承认，的确是这样
如果你说你羡慕我有那么多自由在这里胡乱炫耀，我也认了
如果我问你我寂寞是为了什么？那么你该怎么回答我？

21岁了，其实生日还没有到，还有4个月十多天
我不喜欢庆祝生日，老实说我觉得很麻烦，所以我也不是很喜欢帮人庆祝
我习惯给人一个回答，我妈妈生我的时候很辛苦
那么，我有过生日会吗？
其实有的，十一岁那年有过一次盛大的，我是个幸运的小孩
但那次之后，我弟弟因为家里经济不好，所以生日会很小很小也不热闹
所以那次以后我都不庆祝生日，因为我真的感到内疚，弟弟没得庆祝很可怜
现在除了几个记得我生日的朋友会和我吃一餐之外，生日还是普通日子

但是，21岁了...说了，还没到
我开始很想要一些东西，开始有了一些要求
如果我是个小孩，我会想要遥控飞机，我会想要去迪斯尼
但是，21岁了我还是很想要，但是我更想要的是一个生日会
这个生日会，我不需要礼物，我只要家人聚在一起
如果那时候我有了女朋友的话，那么也聚在一起
然后我要一个蛋糕，我要一些烛光气氛加上生日歌，唱得难听不要紧
然后然后，我们拍一张合照，我最期待的全家福，那个是最好的礼物
以后以后，弟弟21岁的时候，我们再来办一个这样的生日会

因为一个人住，日子越来越久我越来越像小孩子
因为一个人住，发现电话成了想家时候最好的工具
因为一个人住，我发觉我越来越有了人类该有的情感
因为一个人住，所以我写着这个文章
到了白天有人陪我说话的时候，我就不再想那么多...

一个人住

2009-06-25T04:07:00.002+08:00

三更半夜我可以弹着吉他唱着歌没人管我
傍晚七点晚上八点我还可以倒头就睡不怕半夜睡不着
早上下午晚上可能到了晚上十一点我连一餐都还没吃
晚上一个人有时候我跟墙壁说话聊天或对着天空眨眼
没有电视机只有电脑陪我一整天我可以就此忘了时间
我并不是异类，因为我知道这周围有很多我这种同类
我们都是搬离家乡一个人住的孩子

一个人住，怎么样？
其实也不能说没有想过，当初决定要来读书的时候
就已经知道会一个人住，享有不受任何人捆绑的自由
已经料到不会有三餐也不会有正餐，嘛嘛档和快熟面是我的朋友
其实如果你问我，适应吗？一开始我怎么都说没感觉，其实真的没感觉

那么一个人住，到底是怎么样？
其实你可以做很多事情，而且不需要怕家里有谁在等你的门替你担心
好比如可以出门到几天不回家，或者在家里把音响开到最大最吵最大声
又或者可以几个礼拜不打扫房子几个月不换窗帘也不会被骂被碎碎念
再或者就是你可以带不同的女孩子回家过夜，如果你有这种习惯的话
当然最爽的是周末我可以赖床到下午4点都没有问题没有人管
其实一个人住还真得蛮享受，因为真的真的很轻，自由得飞了起来

一个人住，你享有另外一种方式的独立
一个人住，你活着你自己创出来的一种节奏
一个人住，你会忘了自己是谁的孩子
一个人住，你自己的世界你自己做主
一个人住，你会像我一样凌晨了还不睡觉在这里滴滴答答

有时候我真的觉得，我真得很与众不同很酷
因为我想我真的是一只人形蟑螂，不管到了哪里都不会觉得怎样，可以很适应
这些，都发生在21一岁之前

我妈妈说，我21岁的生日已经没有意义，因为我老早就独立了

因为在他乡求学，所以我搬出来一个人住
因为一个人住，所以我没有什么时间上的顾虑
因为一个人住，所以有时候我很寂寞
因为一个人住，所以想家的情绪
到了夜晚没人再说话的时候，越来越浓...

怎么平衡？

2009-06-10T03:25:00.006+08:00

曾经我总会拉着妈妈不放要求她别去做工
曾经我总会在傍晚期待着妈妈从某个路口回家来
曾经我还会倒杯茶给放工回来的爸爸慰劳他
曾经我总会跟着婆婆到处逛做个人人称赞的乖孙子
曾经我和弟弟很雀跃的因为妈妈致电给远在他方的外婆
曾经我还会吵着要哥哥带我到处玩去捉鱼
曾经我们住在大家庭堂兄弟姐妹都活得很开心

现在我变成功课为先的学院生
现在我几乎需要零用钱才致电回家给妈妈
现在我跟爸爸的谈话一年累计下来不到5句
现在我只有在回乡最后一天才探望我婆婆
现在我没有致电给我外婆只有一年一次的探望
现在我也没什么和我哥哥说话
现在我只知道弟弟想要画画但我不知道他真正喜欢什么？
现在我住在外面跟堂兄弟姐妹都很陌生

这是什么？
什么时候我的家庭我的生活可以演变成这样？
时间还是金钱？是人为是天意？

我承认我没有一个称得上融洽的家庭也不富有
每个人都带着面具虚假的和对方相处，这不因该有
如果因为这样而说这是一个借口导致家庭不融洽
那么，有没有错？？

我因为不想让爸爸妈妈辛苦赚来供我读书的钱浪费
也想努力而闯出一番作为成名赚大钱完成梦想
而日日夜夜很努力拼了命的在拼着学业
我几乎忘了我多久没有打电话回家
我根本忘了我有着父母兄弟
我想得最多的是我的功课到底该怎么做？

我的婆婆多就没念我了？我的外婆多久没见我了？
我的堂兄弟姐妹，我的叔叔婶婶知不知道我在做什么？
这么多年来，我们一家人聚餐过几次？
我们家，没有一张真正的全家福，对不对？

我说，我们很努力为了生活为了将来在打拼
其实，我们到头来为了自己还是家人？
拼到最后，我们是否还有多少时间陪在家人身边，
一起闲话家常，一起开心一起玩闹？

忙碌不是借口，而是抹杀亲情的杀手
工作与亲情之间，你怎么平衡？谁多谁少？

摸着心自问，到底你把什么放在你心中第一位？

今天，被训了一顿
这个人，我妈妈不太喜欢她，
但却是她，教了我这么多... ...

(this is a translated version of the previous article,
which I think is important to share with others who may concerned)

Last time,I did hold my mum's hand begging her don't go to work
Last time,I did waiting for my mum back from work at evening,everyday
Last time,I did give my dad a cup of tea for his whole day hard work
Last time,I did followed my granny to everywhere,people said I'm a filial grandson
Last time,me and younger brother will be very exciting
when mum's giving a phone call to granny at penang
Last time,I did keep asking my elder brother bring me to play around
Last time,I lived in a big family,siblings and cousins were living hormony and happy

Now,I'm become a working machine for my college assignments
Now,I only will call my mum when I ran out of pocket money
Now,I hardly talk to my dad in one year and won't be over than 5 sentences
Now,I only pay a visit to my granny when the last day for my holiday
Now,I didn't call my granny at penang,only pay her a visit once a year
Now,I didn' talk to my elder brother much,perhaps really rarely
Now,I know my younger brother wants to draw and design,
but I don't really know what he wants?
Now,I'm living at outside,I don't contact my cousins

What are these??
Why my family and my life will become like this
Is about money or time?Or this is just a destiny?

Be frank,I don't really have a lovely family,we ain't rich at all
Everybody lives with a mask,it shouldn't happen
If this is a factor to cause the family problem
Then it should make sense?shouldn't it?

I don't want to waste the money from my parents,they worked hard
That's why I worked really hard on my assignments,to achieve the summit and my dreams
All because I wanted to make them proud and satisfy myself
I almost forgot how long I didn't call back to my home
and I really forgot,I have my parents and siblings
What I've think all the time is,how I'm going to improve on my assignments?

How long does my granny didn't yelling on me?How long does my Granny didn't see me?
My cousins,my uncle aunties,do they know what am I doing now?
These years,do we have a family gathering?
We don't have a proper family portrait,do we?

I said,we are working hard for future
actually,we do all of these for family or ourselves?
At the end of the day,we still have how many times to with our family?
A warm talk,some concern or playing around.....do we still can?

Busy is not an excuse,but a murderer of the family relationship
Working and Family,how you going to balance?

Ask your heart,answer it honestly,Which you putted at the first place in your heart?

I've been given this lesson of life by a person
This person,my mum doesn't really like her
But,is she to taught me all of these...

Where ever I go, I bring you along

2009-05-26T04:39:00.003+08:00

最近说来，我活得蛮开心也很充实
毕竟在课业上我达到了自己所订下的目标，拍拍手鼓励自己~
也因为看了YesMan和日剧Hero，所以我对生活也越来越积极
说真的，很棒！真的，很棒！

这是一张speed painting
为了挑战而对自己下的一个战书，45分钟
图片里是个旅者到拖着一个洋娃娃

我最主要想表达的是
不过以后我将有怎么样的未来，将飞到多远的地方
装满虚荣的沉重行李将不会是首要
排在我第一位的是在我心中最独一无二最珍贵的人
我愿意过得平凡也要把你带在身边

带着娃娃的方式是否很有问题？
的确没错？的确错了，但是就不想改过来
虽然对待很多事情的方式错了，但是我还是我
坚持做最真实的自己，不想带着面具自欺欺人

对我来说我可以花一辈子的时间去了解一个女人
到最后不管她是怎么样的人，就算我发觉所知道的都是错误
但我不在乎，因为吸引我的是那一个感觉

我的心这样告诉我

就算我知道我一辈子拥有不了你
就算要我一辈子单身，我都没有关系
至少，我不背叛我的心

在我内心，我一直都是个简单的人

JB si beh song

2009-04-08T15:14:00.005+08:00

This is a MV by namewee, a different style from previous songs
there is no rude words,no fuck no lanjiao no jibai
The only is a Hokkien dialect,Si Beh hao, means very good

This song is about my hometown's capital city, Johor Bahru
A rojak city,Robbers are everywhere
proudly present by YouTube,your online broadcasting center

The whole concept is nice,if your observation is good enough
you will know it's talking about robbery in JB,si beh song ah

The video,they really showed the essential of the JB
Jalan Wong Ah Fook,Jalan Dhoby
(previous ah gua street,now still got but they didn't show)
Foon Yew High School and the famous LokLok infront of it
( usually the loklok is along the sea coast,pandai Lido and Stulang)

The whole video is using the story telling method to present
and the editting made the whole video,have a retro feel
very reasonable,he was graduated as a Multimedia student
Si beh song

For the music,I only have one word.......Si beh Song!
Good Job! Namewee

For the JB,my hometown,I don't have much comment
the only word is,hope our people can have a better life.

(p/s: I hope I can find him to play a role for my individual film in one day)

Friendship??

2009-04-06T04:53:00.006+08:00

wow~another morning blogging session
why so early?nope.....I just haven't sleep
being emo...

Recently,I'm not really happy
not about relationship,because currently I don't need it
not about finance problem,because my heart is rich
ofcourse,not my academy stuffs also. I'm enjoying

Then,what has left is,Friendship

I admit that,I don't really have many friends
what I mean is,friend is really friend
who I recognize them as friend,I call them friend
or else,I won't call the person as a Friend
I'm doing it very clear

then,the thing is like this ...

story begin,please pay RM80 to enter,I'm expensive
(Ignore this,I'm bullshiting)

This is my friendship in The One Academy
I knew him since 2 semester ago
He is a nice guy,friendly and quite talented
as,I could be friend with this kind of person easily
but,the point is Why I don't agree with him now?

ok,first,I do appreciate his leadership to his class
but,I don't agree is,don't backstep people to gain the lead of class
although there is a fact,but please,do it humble
nobody is perfect,even myself,who wrote this to critic on him.

second,I do agree with,he has good idea and good thinking
but,I want to say is,think it more deeply and think of others more
"you are rich kid,but it does not mean to others"
"you can do whatever you want,but other can't"
ask more and care more as you are "leader"

there is lot of things I don't agree with him
that's a spike inside my heart,I just can't stand for it
but I don't know I'm correct or not
So,I did find another friend,to help me
to tell me,I'm wrong

His comment is,
nobody is wrong,nobody is correct,we are imperfect
people finding friends,is using each other to cover
or else,we don't need a friend

Oh,so...friendship is like that

so,how do you think??

but before that,I'm telling

I can be very complicated to suit this messy,fancy world
but I still spare a very pure heart for some,one of them is friendship
Friendship for me,is very pure,friend is really a friend
I don't use them,never use this word on my every friend

A friend is

concern each other,hanging out bullshit whole day
I can just slap you in front,I don't slap you behind
We can just talk straight forward,no hiding something
We can even keep in silent, we don't talk
but we won't feel embarrassing

so many things can be very simple and pure

Friend is really called friend

Even you hurt me,even you betrayed me
once is friend,forever you are my friend!

so,do you think I'm not deep enough?too childish?

ok,let me tell you

Friend again,true friendship we don't have to be complicated
just be truth!

Thanks to all my friends,thanks for being my friends
thanks for exist in my life,thanks for everything
I love you,my friends

不酸的暗恋

2009-04-05T00:37:00.004+08:00

酸酸甜甜的感觉它叫暗恋
你或许会感觉心慌慌，什么都不敢讲
只得独个儿在幻想，或许嘴角还会不知觉的挂着微笑
有或许会因为心里有千万个表达不出的爱而成天忧郁
这叫暗恋，基本上就是这样的了

我暗恋过，或许确实点来说我每天都在暗恋
夸张？不会啦，对象就那几个罢了
年纪轻时，会暗恋也会表白，很刺激
现在不是很老，会暗恋却很少表白，但已不再刺激
或许是，处理感情的方法不一样了

我喜欢你，不一定就认定要在一起
表白失败后，不一定就做不成朋友
情侣分手后，不一定就得做敌人
以前不这么想，现在却是顺其自然

重点来了，我最近又在暗恋了
我也表白了，有些刺激，但是心跳节奏却很平均
我的确很欣赏她，主要是因为人格方面
其实连我自己都被自己吓了一跳，从没想过会这样
她，很特别，不是我以前会追的那种女孩
她，讲英文，但是她会讲方言，我不会

她不喜欢谈恋爱，我笑说她是女同志
我时常被男讲师摸，她每天说我是男同志
她呀她似乎对恋爱有很大的抗拒

我对她说（以下以英语呈现）
me: When the day I'm ready,I will go and get you
she: sorry,I'm no supermarket...

表白于我们亲爱的msn
对白在我们之间从来不浪漫
我们之间后来会怎样，我不敢说
但是，我想试一试

(不知道为什么，总是放不到它作header)

I think this is the time,I should learn how to fly
I know you will support me
thanks for the memories

The only last for you........I love you,Hui San

The Truth??

2009-04-03T05:06:00.003+08:00

I think,recently some friends had just read about my blog
And it's funny that, another friend,which is my classmate at the same time
(actually,all the people involved in this case is all my dear classmate,DG78)
She wrote about Love stories at her blog,a lovely one~
So,thing happen like this

people think her "Love stories" and my "Untitled" are linked
so,they are suspect me,loving someone now! (actually,I always loving somebody)
Then,they all telling me [wey~I knew your truth] kinda busybody
but,it's quite embarrassing...

so I have to make it clear a bit

First,I admit that,I do have a feeling of, I like her

But,it's not like----I like you,be my girl friend that kind of "like"
it could be happen to anybody,as long as you got the point
I like her,because of her independent,strong personality and understanding
because I think,it's just something I have to learn from her.
That's all I can say

Second,there is a person,I could not forget
I don't think I really love her now,but I did love her crazily
I just can't describe who is she in my heart now,even the feeling
but she is important,she has her weight in my heart,always

I think I need a person to take over her in someday
or else,I should not date any other girl
it would be very unfair,and I knew it would be bad ending again

so,if you doubt,you might just need to read this again and again
or just ask me personally,but remember to make appointment~

The truth,

Relationship is kind of complicated thing,
only if you are new to it.

Relationship is all in control
only if you are an old sailor

Love and like,both of them have lot of meanings
just depend on how you define them

fuck you,I lost to myself
"Stopping love topic project" consider failed.....................

Untitled

2009-04-02T17:04:00.002+08:00

She is a cute girl,which everyone might like to be friend with her
She might be a pretty girl,if she really dress up herself
She is in her shinny age,the age of 20
what's take off her smile,what's take her down?

She has been loved,she fell into it so deeply
now the love has left, loved and betrayed
what has left to her just desperate and empty

The sins has born,she has envy,she has hate
The conflict has occurred,confuse and helpless
she has wandering about what is the true love?
She is a lucky girl,she has her lovely family
who always care for her,she has them forever
She is a lucky girl,she has her lovely friends
who always support her and comfort her

She is happy now,she has them
the treasure of life

She is another girl,she is also a pretty girl
she is fair,she is special,she is lonely in her heart
she is in her 20,the shinny age for everyone
but now she is gloomy,it's just happen

it's also called love,but it's family love
she just lost her beloved father it's just so sudden,not predictable
what has left to her just only numb and helpless

but,she is a nice daughter,she is such a understanding girl
she is strong,she never cry,she just hang for it
but I just wonder,if...
when the day,she discovered there is a missing person
there is a empty space,there is a missing voice,
but there is a memories never been washed away by time

Will she just break down?what will happen to her?
Although she said " I'm alright"
but if she cries,I will just hold her tight,and dry her eyes

2 different girls,2 different things
happened to them in a sudden,totally different
but,they just shared one feeling,which is pain
the wound might just left there forever...

I don't know what to say...because I don't know what to do either

like the first girl said...we are the toy for god

but I said is puppet

like I said to the second girl...this is like lottery,just so sudden

but she said,she rather don't want

A friend asked me a question in Chinese : 措手不及在英语怎么说?
(how to traslate something happened surprisely?)

I answered.......What the fuck

Rumspringa

2009-03-07T23:49:00.008+08:00

Rumspringa

(also Rumschpringe or Rumshpringa, derived from the Pennsylvania German term for "running around")
generally refers to a period of adolescence
for some members of the Amish,
a subsect of the Anabaptist movement,
that begins around the age of sixteen
and ends when a youth chooses baptism within
the Amish church or instead leaves the community.
The vast majority choose baptism and remain in the church.
Not all Amish use this term
(it does not occur in Hostetler's extended discussion of adolescence),
but in sects that do, Amish elders generally view this as a time for
courtship and finding a spouse.

(from wikipedia)

Rumspringa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but,what the hell is it?Although I have go through it by
Wikipedia,the free encyclopedia
Although I search this just because I've watched the film "sex drive"
and they named a place,which full of Amish with this name,quite satirical,
but I just Just Just care about what is Amish?!

Ya,did you found that I have highlighted all the Amish word?
I'm damn damn damn damn curious on them!

Amish,through the wikipedia,I've known they are a group of
Christian religious denominations. They are often best known
for their simple living, plain dress and their resistance to the
adoption of many modern conveniences.

Another way,through the Sex Drive,I've known
they can fix the car free for you, and maybe you will got the chance
to watch the Fall out boy concert with five song set at there
and maybe you will meet a pretty hot sexy wild Amish Lady at there too
then you might fall into her and never want to leave the "Rumspringa"

But those is not the point I'm really looking for
What I'm looking for is,the way they keep themselves
separate from the world,make themselves outside of it.
They work by themselves,by running the farm.
They are strongly "rejecting" the modern technology,
by limiting the usage of telephone,not using electricity.
They may not buy any insurance and accept any assistant from
government.

The education of them mostly until grade 8,
almost no Amish goes to high school.
Which believed basic knowledge offered up to that point is
sufficient to prepare one for the Amish lifestyle
They operate their own schools by One room Schoolhouse
which teach by unmarried young,maybe hot,maybe pretty Amish lady.
And I think this is the way,to resistant the grow of technology.
Because,everything is related to education.

Another thing is,the discipline of the child in a family
is very stress strict,this is taught and enforced by parents and preachers.
Their child is super obedience to their parent,it's a common thing
or else they will receive such corporal punishment.
Sounds weird?but this is the way to teach your child,
to avoid them give you a heart-attack!

Such a thing, created a natural lifestyle,which will not harm this planet,
everything remain the most plain,peaceful life.
I wonder,if half of the world is Amish,how would this world be?
but,it shouldn't be,because we do need the technology to help
this world become better,although it does have side effect.

I do have an idea,which is we live in a high tech world
but we still keep an Amish heart, to keep this planet's natural
it's quite confuse,a strong of opposite thing,and Amish is religious.

But I don't think it's a dilemma,because we live in a same world
As long as,you are human,you live in earth and you breath the air
standing on the ground, and you do eat and drink,this world is yours
That's why you have the responsibility to take care,protect of this planet,
the place which take care of you more than you take care of it.
Love it just like you love you families,friends and your belonging.

Rumspringa!!!!!!!!!!
which mean,running around
you running all the way freely as you can
may this land have the day like this again.

Stopping Love topic project

2009-03-05T04:55:00.006+08:00

Somebody has told me that,
this bonbonism is always talking about love
almost and every topic that I wrote is about love...
nothing special

so,I have bored!!! I wanted to stop it,
since I said " I want to study hard,no love!"
so so so so so,I gotta stop write thing about love,
relationship and bla bla bla....
It's quite embarrassing to say that,
the girl who has peeking my blog these day
sorry to make you down and shock,
because I got the live traffic feed thing called lalala

but I'm really not going to write them anymore,hmm,I mean temporary.

Start with this,I'm not going to scare you
but just to share a truth...
what's about a person entire life?
and how we going to live with such a thing called dream?

Few days ago,a weirdo which
I have known her since long long time ago,
she asked me some questions, about what am I studying now？
(I'm currently studying Digital animation and Game development in The One Academy)
and questions around it coz she said her friend
has a plan to take course in game design.

So,I answered her questions,and add on some advice which
I have inspired by some lecturer in my college,
which I think it's really important to tell.

To choose animation or game development as a career,
just have dream and interested on it,is totally not enough.
You must have super super strong passion,wild like fire,or volcano!
because the stressssss will come like cold water,take away all your
passion on ityou will be super tired,and it's just usual,can't be escape
and your face will just become like this...

to make good things,fuck off the college life,we never have it.

Some how,while you think it's a dream
and you just want to taste it once
ok,it's fine~no problem. But the thing is........
while you step into your dream,
you will found that everything is
TOTALLY different,tough and hard ever and ever
My advice is,

While standing become difficult,I still have to stand until the end
( this word I took it from the movie, street fighter-The legend of Chun Li)

Believe that,The stronger man will last until the end!
The you will success!!! Good luck~~~

Is that over???haha
I always tell my friends and lecturer about my big big dreams
which I want to work in Square Enix, and after that I want to
make a big big film,movie,be the successful Director
when I'm 40yrs old!

people said it's big big big enough,it's so far away.
But I always take this word with me

-Have your honor to embrace your dreams-
by Angeal and Zack in Final Fantasy 7-Crisis core

but,after the dream,what is the next???
I make myself a target,after I have reach all my dreams
I want to help this planet become a green,peace world!
I want to become zero,everything for me,is a circle
You reach the summit,at the end you still have to back to the ground

After she listened to these......she said,
she need a peaceful time,to analyse and think about it
is that really complicated???but I think,the life just is like that
Maybe I wrote these,not so organized....it's just because I'm so sleepy
I have been 2 days stayed at lab,and no sleep.....damn
But I'm going to sleep later,it's true~

good night~~

some photos,I've ruined my performance at that night,ish....
but it's just the way I am, Music is life~

Lady of green

2009-02-15T02:00:00.004+08:00

oh lady oh lady...
the lady I asked for waiting,do you know what is the day been waiting for?
does it far nor near?something was in between
do I have enough courage to save you and seize the day?
and I become your man,and you are my everything

Do you love me?I really mean that,do you still love me now?
if you do,please let me hold your hand and be your guardian
don't let the time bring away anything,any feeling or this good timming
do you still like me?do I really mean it?love or hate you decide

Still in my heart,for years and years...
virus infection or drug addicted?
you are such an amazing lady,should I just quit of you?
but at this time,you decided to have same identity of mine
would it became an illusion at the end?ya,it does...

The girls with woods
say it,and remember it
I forgot what is unhappy,I just make up myself with smile face everyday
I get used to it until I'm totally don't get used to upset face
so I decided to make myself happy everyday,and smile truly
No matter what,I'm happy

Yesterday,14 Feb 2009
I was surrounded by couples in the town,I wonder why....
Suddenly I found that today is Valentine day
I wonder why I'm alone? I wonder why I'm single?
but I never doubt that,this is the happiest life that I have lived

Write a song,sang a song,Without love without soul

2009-01-31T03:03:00.002+08:00

或许我是个收藏家，喜欢收藏你和我之间的回忆
点点滴滴，分分秒秒，字字句句
却忘了原来这些也会随着时间而增加填满空隙
满了，怎么办？很重很辛苦我却不想放开...

经过和你走过的路途，眼前事物穿过时光般一一浮现
你洗澡后来不及吹干的长发，你那从来不让我牵久久的手
还有，你酷酷的笑容

或许我这个收藏家真的只是一厢情愿
愿意静静付出也轰轰烈烈去爱
受过伤，心痛过
然后，我是什么？

你背上的刺青，记载着什么？
或许我该去了解，或许能拍成怎么样的电影情节
叙说这刺青的主人有多么的美
这会是一个梦想

你的声音或许真的已经存入我脑中
是歌曲？是诗句？反正就是那么的熟悉
是否，该把你写成一手诗情画意的歌
歌颂着对你的爱慕，疑惑还有期待

是否，哪一天我会放弃这收藏？
可能我会问起，你是谁？
却可能那些这些已经成为烙印在心里面
我会写着诗唱着歌但诗句里读不出情感，歌声里听不出灵魂...

爱？

2009-01-15T04:11:00.002+08:00

我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我爱你，我..爱你，我.......爱你,我.........爱.....你，我..........爱.........................你，我为什么爱你？？？

这世间好多好多的男男女女谈恋爱时都好喜欢说，我爱你
这一句话，有多重？有多深？能维持多久？

啊...与其说能维持多久，倒不如说---需要多久才能说出口？
我这番话，并不是说要花多少时间才能向对方那种表白
真确来说，是一对恋人，到底要怎么才能说爱？

曾经，我很轻易的就对一个女生说我爱你，那是我的初恋
我爱你，不经意就脱口而出，说得挺轻松，分手时虽然拖了拖
但是分手这词，表达得也很轻松~

也曾经有一时，我千辛万苦才对一个女生说我...爱...你，说得犹豫
我爱你，总是会堵在嘴边，爱得辛苦也难受，却也拖拖拉拉难舍难分
我不是不爱她，却也没办法再解释...

最近一次，我怀疑了我爱你，我尝试让自己不说出口，却输给了一个梦
我爱你，因为我自己害怕失去你，因为我依赖你，是不是我在乎你？
我很坚定地告诉自己我可以爱你，但最后却放弃了自己...

总结于最近的3段恋情，我正在考虑以后到底说不说我爱你？
或许不说的话，会很酷很炫或者很流行~
可是不说的话，那么什么东西因该代表着爱情？
那么恋人该到了什么程度才能说我爱你？该经历了些什么才能说我爱你？
我爱你需要什么？拥抱？热吻？或者轻轻的？还是眼泪......?

我真的，真的也不太清楚，虽然自己总会给自己一大堆理由
总会有是非难懂的大道理，自己却是一塌糊涂
我，真的，很糟糕......

对不起，我3段恋情里的3位女生
知不知道为什么我不喜欢听到对不起？
因为我知道这是我的台词，所以你们别抢着说
对你们的话，短短的，思念却是深深的...

很久没有这么悲，不过在这夜里也挺好的...
我说，爱...如果爱

每个人都想明白
谁是自己生命不该错过的真爱
特别在午夜醒来更是会感慨
心动埋怨还有不能释怀
都是因为你触碰了爱

如果这就是爱
在转身就该勇敢留下来
就算受伤就算流泪
都是生命里温柔灌溉

爱在回忆里总是那么明白
困惑的心流过的泪
还有数不尽黑夜等待

如果这就是爱
　

杀手

2008-07-02T00:49:00.002+08:00

开始的感觉不会痛不会痛放大的瞳孔就像做梦
幸福的错觉很温暖很包容也许还期待
这是致命的冲动你不懂我不懂究竟杀手为什么存在？
因为爱？还是未知的未来..........

取自林俊杰《西界》---杀手

今天，我不是要来为他打歌（虽然JJ是我很崇拜的歌手啦~）
只是突然发现到歌词里有一种特别的感觉，很奇妙，很亲切，特别的喜欢
当然，领悟了一些事情，懂了一些道理

爱情，刚开始的时候真的很甜蜜，不会知道也不会去想太多，完全对爱情的危险没有任何防备
因为爱情就像错觉，迷糊了我们的知觉...

爱情，到了水深火热的时候很难受，像个冷血杀手般要了我们的命
这时候我们突然领悟原来我们有好多事情接受不来，原来刚开始的感觉都不对，只是杀手所带来的幻觉

在这个世界里，想要尝爱情这果实的人，就必须得承受随时被杀的压力，被你最深爱的那一个所杀
心甘情愿被各种冷血残忍却无形无影的手法所杀，不留下任何痕迹
完美的死在自己心爱的人手下...

在爱情里死亡，谁都不想，但事实上在爱情里的都是活死人
你可以选择重生，也可以对这一切不理不睬...沉浸下去

醒来的人，会变成天使
怎么也不会再受伤，怎么也不会再被爱情杀手干掉
但也有可能再次惹上病毒，再陷入深渊
做只有免疫能力的天使，只不过什么都逃避

对于爱情，我不晓得我是杀手还是天使
我只管呆呆的看，呆呆的等......
等待被杀？等待杀人？
我是你的目标？还是你是我的猎物？
天知道..
.

凌晨3点钟

2008-06-25T02:41:00.000+08:00

一句我爱你可以持续多久？加一个永远是否真的可以永远？
感情是否没有先后之分？也有些许不管付出多少也弥补不了的伤？
一片海，一个天空，九百公里，两个心之中的距离要怎么拉近？
一根手指，两根手指...放开了

一直以来，我都以为全心全意去付出我所可以，甚至超出范围就是爱
这或许可以换来一些回忆，感动以及情绪上的波动
我一直以为，以为这样就是爱，爱就是时间越长越占优势
一直以为坚持信念就会永久不变，一直都很盲目的，很盲目的...

我真的看不到，我们之间有着很大的距离
我真的察觉不到，我们之间没有共同的默契
我真的不知道，你心里一直要的是什么？那些感觉，那些感动，还有哪一些？
我真的不知道，我们互相伤害了多少？这么多年来，谁已经伤痕累累？
我们还好吗？

放开你，因为我知道你并不爱我
放开你，因为我知道我并没有资格去爱
我们都没有真正向对方了解过，坦白过我们所想的，所在意的
我们都很自以为，我们真的看不到，问题所在
谢谢，我们停止了这一场悲剧~落幕？我说不知道~

感谢这些年来制造的回忆，虽然你给的不多，但是足够了
我永远爱你，我说我会娶你都结束了吗？我说不知道~
我还记得那一见钟情的感觉，那情景，你的短发...
我还记得你的发香，你的体温，你的微笑...
我还记得你的泪，你的吻...轻轻的却很深
爱得有点疯，也像一场梦，开始得奇妙，途中有点模糊却不陌生
感谢上天给的缘分，却嘲笑也会感叹，但谁也不埋怨，不责怪

或真或假的谎，或多或少的伤都已经不重要
我是真的会永远爱你，我会娶你，你会做我老婆，如果我们真的有缘分的话
为什么？因为你真的很特别！想象一下我说这句话的表情吧~
听着~
闭上眼睛，深呼吸~你真的不是一个人

2008-06-15T22:19:00.000+08:00

好几个礼拜没有post东西，想想原因~不是因为没有题材，也不是没有时间，懒惰？有一点
但是，真正来说，我是因为找不到照片放就没有心情写blog...==(难道blogging就真的要放照片吗?)不好意思，个人见解而已，有照片有图画，我做起东西比较顺心~

撇开那个问题不谈，最近我家才办完喜事，照理说办喜事可以让家里冲冲喜，会比较好运~
但是叻，我竟然遇车祸（我承认是我的错，睡眠不足还驾车）但是人没有事情，平安~多谢神明保佑。
然后叻，就是我哥哥~他比较可怜，刚刚结婚的那一位。
话说~某天早上他夫妇俩载着我婆婆去看医生，途中被神志不清的老阿伯撞上车旁~婆婆的头怀疑敲到车镜而流血不止，缝了很多针~听起来非常心疼！那天回去探望她的时候，很多话讲，很啰嗦!
问她怎样，她讲不会痛，但是当时流血很多~真是搞不懂？？
大致上可以知道，她很安全，很平安就好~

家里2辆车子都很幸运的遭殃，真希望可以破财消灾~家里人可以平平安安
爸爸今晚回国，看到被我意外损伤的车子，血液循环应该很快~
说起来，那辆车被我驾了以后大大小小的损伤真的数不清~呵呵呵
看来以后我真的要请司机来保障公路使用者的安全！
还有！！！谢谢所有慰问我的朋友，家人~谢谢你们的关心与支持！
还有！！！妈妈，谢谢你对我的包容，对不起让你担心了！我爱你！

然后，最近嘛~你问我感情的事情，我还会挺矛盾的，为什么？
虽然，跟她最近似乎合好了，没有敌意，但是还是没有复合的意思？看来我很糟糕
而且昨晚，好像真的又吵了一架？干什么？我觉得我没有错啊！
但是我很感激她对我的坦白，不会对我隐瞒什么，只不过我有我的立场
你说我大男人也好，思想古板也好，但是我就是有我的立场~谢谢
自己的女人有很多男人追求，是好事坏事？该骄傲还是怎样？我对自己太没有自信了吗？
哎~不管怎样，只希望嘛，我和她的感情顺顺利利就好！
我说过，我会娶她做老婆！

好啦，就写到这里~没有什么新鲜的题材，我就只想这样写，普普通通的写
~没有图片

The world is a picture,fill with various of colors
And I want to use my Hand, to fill up a part of mine
None of it is worthless,even just only a dot
And decorate with love,to delight everyone's heart

This love

2008-05-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

How do you describe you love? with thousand words?or just only one?
Used to have a voice before go to bed,who is it?
I feel you even when I close my eyes!

Sometimes you cry,sometimes you scream,sometimes you laugh?
A thing to remember,to ensure something forever,what is it?
Nothing can be better than this!

Illusion or true while something sweet is part on lips?

Lost your mind while somebody standing infront?
One step closer,will you?
Value does not use on it,it is the one and only!
Even willing to sacrifice yourself?

Yesterday I think of you,I dream of you,the feeling was so true!
Obviously,I'm so sick of you!
Unbelievable,it's Love

领悟

2008-05-27T16:55:00.000+08:00

First for all,this is an article that I posted at a forum since long time ago.Just feel that,what to have a sharing.It's Chinese.

今天，在去补习的路上，老师问了我一句答不出的问题。
他问了“你知道你要什么吗？”
当然我知道那个怪卡不会那么傻问我女朋友啊，未来啊这种简单问题，因为他不会选这种废才问题来考我的...
很明显的，他将告诉我另一个意思。

很直接的，我回答了他我不会，也不知道
他告诉了我“你知道吗？你得罪了上帝...”
当时我对他此言实在不解，为什么我不明去向也会得罪上帝？
后来，在一番言语后...我领悟到这句意义深重的话

一个人，活着...为了什么？
如果一个有钱人，他总是对你说自己很穷，当然我们觉得他在开我们玩笑...但！他不是，他虽然很有富有，但他穷的是“自由”...他很有钱，但他身不由己，他必须忙于他的业务，他没了时间陪家人，更可悲的是连他想放弃事业也不行...一辈子被钱绑死。

一个智者，他说...他很笨
当然，我们会当他虚伪...但是不然
他是智者，但比起农夫耕田，他显得笨拙很多，比起商人做生意，他明显不知如何取巧，虽然他读得圣贤书，但他也只有智慧却没有技巧。

一个乐器恩师，他说...他很失败，虽然他的弟子个个都成才。
因为，他没办法做到“传”
他没办法做到让弟子领悟到他所有的心思，虽然他们都很出色，成了世界殿堂级的乐手但始终不如他，弟子们也吝啬于传授技巧于他人。

很简单...我从这，了解到。我们人生下来，就要有自己的目标，自己的路要走。一开始，我们需要的是“自由”，难道你认为你拥有自由吗？你拥有自主权吗？那么你小学考UPSR,中学的PMR,SPM,STPM那么多考试为的是什么？还不是顺着政府教育制度，做个傀儡
到了我们出了社会工作，我们工作，我们努力赚钱，我们缴税
全都被一个字绑着---钱。其实我们也不想，但我们身不由己！对不？
所以我们需要的第一样就是“自由”，我们不要穷于自由，不要身不由己...一开始我们就要有明确的想法来让自己有个解脱，我们不要被自己捆死。

二，我们不能活在自己的世界，认为自己很聪明的人往往都死在自己脚下，没了他人自己也活不成。我们不可能一个人耕田得米，养牛得肉...我们当然做不完，所以别轻视别人的等级与能力。我们不能自大，我们需要接纳人家的意见结合自己的想法换成自己的力量...这样我们就拥有双倍力量来成功。记住，每个人都是我们的老师！不管他是大人小孩，老的少的，女的男的甚至人妖。

三，我们不能吝啬，把自己所会的与人们分享，等于是自己帮了自己。人要学会“贤”，做个懂得贤的人...心胸宽敞，不与他人计较，传授自己的成就于他人，他们所得来的成就也是你的。技巧失传，等于你的失败...

之所以“人不为己，天诛地灭”
此话不是我们所知道的“人不为自己，会遭天地毁灭”。圣人孔子决不会说出此般自私的话。如果你以古文来说“为”的意思是“做”，如果一个人不做好自己，做好自己的本分，那么天就会诛你，地也会灭你。相当的如果我们不知道自己要的是什么，不做自己该做的，那么请问我们是不是得罪了我们亲爱的上帝呢？

到这里，我发觉人生真的好多学问，活着有太多的元素
真的，我好喜欢这样的生活哲学，人生实在是太美妙了~
其实，你自己也可以是你自己的老师，给于你自由的也是你自己，自己也可以是圣人~信不信由你。呵呵

30-5-06 11:35 PM

Siapa Kamu?

2008-05-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

Saya ni seorang budak cina,saya dihasilkan dari Johor Bahru Malaysia. Walaupun fungsi saya bukan sangat canggih,tetapi saya berasa bangga untuk menjadi sebagai hasilan Malaysia.

Rasanya tak sesuai? tahu takpe,ini hanya sesuatu intro.
ehh?ape?kenapa tulis dalam bahasa malaysia?
Sebablah saya rakyat Malaysia!Terima kasih. I'm Malaysian,thank you. 我是马来西亚人，谢谢

Sebenarnya,aku tulis article ni hanya nak sharing,perasaan saya sebagai rakyat Malaysia samada seorang bangsa cina yang beragama Taoism,dan apa masalah yang kita menghadapi di negara kita,berlaku di sekitaran kita.Tak ada sesuatu cabaran kepada sesiapa,hanya kata-kata yang shiok sendiri.

Mari kita bermula dengan isu agama. Di Malaysia,kita ada aneka jenis agama(minta maaf,tak rasanya aku nak tulis one by one.)dan kita ada kebebasan untuk memilih agama diri-sendiri. Sejak kecil lagi, ibu-bapa saya telah mengajar saya...
(Cis!tak ade lah! mereka hanya complaint orang lain sahaja.)
Inilah ape masalah yang kita memandangi di negara kita, bukan semua orang akan hormat-menghormati agama orang lain,hanya memikir diri sendiri,tak cuba pergi memahami nilai-nilai agama lain.

Seperti ibu-bapa saya,dulu mereka sentiasa complaint semasa muslim sembayang,speaker bising sangat,tak jaga orang lain punya rasa.

Hrm...betul tak?Of cause not~Benar tak mereka fikir?bila orang cina,taoism mengadakan mereka punya "party" untuk ahli keluarga yang meninggal dunia,bising tak?dari waktu siang sampai malam tak bising ke?bila "ghost festival" orang cina BBQ kertas kertas tak jadi pencemaran alam sekitar ke?
Ini hanya sesuatu cara orang menjalankan nilai-nilai agama,sekurang-kurangnya orang percaya kepada tuhan mereka,mementingkan,memahami nilai agama!

Example lain,di kolej saya,ada satu kawan yang asalnya beragama buddhist dan akhirnya bertukar pergi Christian. Dia sentiasa memberitahu nilai-nilai murni/agama yang tulis dalam bible. Dia memberitahu kita,asalnya dia tidak percaya kepada God,rasanya agama buddhist lagi baik,tetapi akhirnya dia bercaya kepada God sebagai automatically,tiada apa special scene. Dia beritahu kita ini ialah sebagai power daripada God, semua orang,semua benda dicipta oleh God. Walaupun mula-mula kamu tak percayai kepada God,ini hanya masa kamu belum sampai, dalam hari yang akan datang,God akan cari kamu dan ketuk pintu hati kamu say"hello,are you ready?" dan akhirnya hati kamu akan buka untuk God.

Ya,betul! Dia percaya kepada tuhannya,tiada salah. Tetapi betul tak semua orang mesti percaya kepada tuhannya?maknanya semua orang sudah salah sejak mereka dilahirkan?Sudahkah dia rupa asalnya?Siapa yang mengandungkannya?Siapa yang membesarkannya?Itulah ibu-bapa dia. Walaupun agama penting,tetapi itu ialah sesuatu percayaan, kamu percaya tak semestinya semua orang mesti percaya dengan kamu, satu benda yang mesti jelas iaitu---Asal kita.Root.根源.

Kata daripada satu kawan yang beragama Christian juga," No matter how you say,how honour or how loyal to your religion,no body knows,but God knows."

Adakah kamu setuju dengan kata ini? jika ya,mari kita tepuk tangan sekali~~(claps)

Kesimpulannya,Agama untuk saya ialah sesuatu percayaan,sesuatu yang menyokongkan spirit saya untuk menjalankan sesuatu perkara. Saya pernah melawat tokong hindu, church dan pernah sembayang sekali dengan muslim. Saya tak rasanya ada apa masalah,sekurang-kurangnya mereka menerima saya dan saya menghormati mereka.

Jika kamu rasa tak senang hati,jangan baca lagi,sebab saya sudah tulis di atas "hanya kata-kata yang shiok sendiri".

Biarkan isu agama-agama yang aneka jenis. Mari saya memulakan topik rakyat Malaysia yang saya paling cintai.
Saya sudah cakapkan?Saya seorang budak cina.Tetapi saya lagi suka memanggil diri-sendiri sebagai Malaysian lebih daripada orang cina.Sebab saya tak dapat cari sesuatu yang boleh sokong saya sebagai orang cina. Kenapa?

Saya tahu cakap bahasa cina?tak...bangsa lain pun boleh cakap,mat saleh as well.

Saya berkulit kuning? orang jepun,orang korea pun berkulit kuning juga,kau cuba tanya mereka"kau ialah orang cina tak?"

Saya makan babi? bodoh...jika sesuatu hari isteri saya memaksa saya jadi vegetarian maknanya saya bukan orang cina lagi?

Kesimpulannya,saya tidak boleh dapat sesuatu perkara yang boleh menyokong saya sebagai orang cina kecuali infomasi yang terisi di surat kelahiran dan kad pengenalan saya.

Saya berada di satu negara yang berbagai bangsa,sejak kecil lagi saya menerima pendidikan kebangsaan dan berkawan dengan kaum lain. Saya tidak berasa diri-sendiri dengan mereka ada apa beza,kita bercakap guna bahasa yang sama,makan makanan yang sama(Sorry,saya tak makan daging kerana agama saya yang berkategori Eastern (East Asian) Buddhism.) Kecuali ini,tak ada beza lagi. Walaupun saya dapat pengajaran dan mempunyai fikiran Confucius,tetapi ini hanya sesuatu nilai-nilai murni yang kita perlu belajar,tak semestinya fikiran orang cina,sebab seluruh dunia ada orang belajar juga.

Janganlah fikir kulit tak sama maknanya semuanya tak sama. Kita berada di negara yang sama,maknanya SAMA. Kita mengunakan riggit Malaysia yang sama,maknanya SAMA. Kita menafas udara yang sama,maknanya SAMA.
Janganlah hina negara ini ataupun sebagai rakyat Malaysia,kerana kamu dilahirkan disini,dilindungi oleh tanah ini. Jika kamu rasa negara ini tak adil atau tak maju,ini bukan negara punya masalah,ini masalah politik. Jika kamu boleh cakap besar besar sampai kamu rasanya ada hak atau kebolehan untuk menukar,mempersilakan~
Jangan fikir apa negara boleh memberi kepada kita,FIKIRlah apa yang kita boleh memberi kepada NEGARA KITA.

Dari masa yang awal,awal,awal,awaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll,aduh,masa dulu la! orang-orang yang dari tempat asing-asing membawa budaya mereka datang ke tanah ini. Mereka membangunkan tanah ini daripada sebiji batu sampai sebuah negara yang makmur dengan setiap titis darah mereka,menjanakan negara ini yang mempunyai budaya yang unik,indah dan sebagai legend. Jasa mereka tidak akan dirupa.Walaupun 31 ogos 1957 penting sangat,tetapi setiap hari kita berada di negara ini lagi penting! Mari kita pandang ke depan,masa depan negara lagi makmur!

Inilah sifat semula jadi saya,everything is parallel. Terima-kasih Thank you 谢谢

开始还是结束

2008-05-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

很多时候
很多人
很多决定
很多想法
很多这个
那个
都可以是个开始
>
>
>
>
我很传统，我觉得一些事情从来没有经历过，有了个行动就会是个开始。
谁不传统？总觉得开始了一些事情就该有规律的找个方法结束？
>自然循环
很不传统，某些事情开始了就等于结束
一瞬间
一秒钟
.
.
.
念一念

开始
结束