不是好人

因为太过自恋，所以一直以来都觉得自己是个好人
我说什么都对都有道理，甚至可以说把自己当成了圣人
在我眼中只要妨碍我，不顺我意的都是坏人烂人
到底这是哪一门心态？如此的丑陋...

哪一天我可以摆脱这心态？
哪一天心中可以平衡？

我没有善良的眼睛，聆听善意的耳朵
所以思想中酝酿邪恶的念头，消极的成分
凡事都消极的面对，开朗没有...

我不爱以他人角度思考，过于自大
往往为我好，却被我伤得乱七八糟

我想我想我想....

如果我是好人，我看到的世界是怎么样？
如果我是好人，我听到的世界是怎么样？

如果，如果.......这真丑陋，对我现在来说

如果我想做个好人？那么我该怎么样？

或许，心中有数...............

Do yours and mine?

this is a video which has been touched my heart when a lonely afternoon
And I though I would not write any single word for this,
or perhaps I just want to share,upload it and that's all...

I do believe,in this world,
few hundred cities,few million people shared a second
shared a little tiny secret,or perhaps it's not
we walk alone in the cities,subways,and doors
and maybe,online at the same time at Facebook...
Do yours and my time just passing by like a lonely clock pointer?

Perhaps,we meet a person that attracted your heart
beautiful,handsome,pretty face and you feel it right
but we just let them go,and we walked back the same old road
We don't have much emotion,we numb we sucks

A little excitement is needed,just like them in the film
don't be a coward would you?talk to you and me who reading this
perhaps free hugs project should do more or could it's just be a habit?
sometimes,just be so happening,just say yes to people,
so that you won't missed any chances that will bring you something good
Life should be fill with love and lovely things,life should be interesting

If you see chance,would you just hold it tight. Would not you?

Hello blog~

Hello blog~
sorry for abandon you for quite long time since
last few months were busying for the projects.
Now,I'm coming back to you,but perhaps just temporary
or maybe this is just the only one for this semester.
Anyway,just have a opening to say good luck and
post some previous works,showing what I've done in the
past few months.

here,is the project which "eat" most of my time but
the most enjoyable subject,because we have a very
nice lecturer,Hoe yi,thank you,I feel lucky to be your student






some random works,I will update later....let me kosong here first
(reserved for concept art)



so....after those projects,ofcoz will be the holidays~
what I've done?hmm....what I can say is
the first week,obviously is family week
I spent the whole week with family stuffs
ofcoz,I've visited my granny very often.

The second week,started to work for my friend
the Pikom PC fair,start from thursday(setting up the booth),
busy until sunday,was wake up at 7am went bed at 2am during
those days. And thanks the holy god that letting those pretty girls
working at our booth,they made me feel energizing,that's what supporting me.
Actually I wanted to ask phone number from one of them,but I just too shy
and not daring.I saw people are "cosplaying" nurse & doctor there,not for what,
just to preventing from H1N1,mask man were everywhere.

The third week,my mum woke me up.....but I seemed too lazy
after that,I realised......something
Fever,cough,flu,headache and sore throat all came to me
I knew,it's my fault for didn't wear mask at PC fair
but,it's good to hear that....doctor said it's not H1N1,thanks
But,I just sicked for 2 weeks I think.....................==

so,until the very last week,helped my "old home" a music school
to do their concert,ofcoz I'm not performing,I just do & play the slide show
for the concert,sitting there click and drag only....
although the slide shows had took most lof my free time to do them.
I said please don't last minute to give me those files,but they
still last minute. ==

ok la,as long as.....I took this picture,happy ending~yeah




ofcoz,in the last week at my beloved hometown
met lof of old friends,quite amazing but really happy~
hope still can keep in touch in future,thanks god







So now,it's almost 5am...so what?
I almost stay awake until 5am everyday since I came back to sunway what?
but but but,today is going to be different. why?
because,today...yes,is today.10 sept 2009 is going to be my first class,for the
3rd year 1st sem~! happy new term commence ~!!!!!!!!!!
thanks Hikari greet me that when yesterday morning,meow~~
but it wasn't my first class at that day,hahaha

so so so~let's add oil in this new semester,gambateh DG78!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

一个人住2

后来，这些都在21岁时发生

我开始很想家，搬出来住之后2年开始发现离开家，离开最熟悉的地方很难过
每离开一公里，眼睛就想再看多一公里，每离开一小时，就算着回家的日子
现在望着天空就会想，为什么没有星星？现在开始慢慢的不适应
我一直认为自己很成熟很独立，或许我父母也这样想
其实，我一天天的在退化...

现在，我时常会很想回家，如果思念会催泪，那么我是否该会流泪？
妈妈说，不需要顾虑那么多，好好的过时间还很多
但是我想对妈妈说，妈妈我听见你的声音却看不到家我怎能不思念不难过？

一个人住，我想撒娇我想诉苦找不到人只因为我只想跟家人说
一个人住，我想要的不是西餐日本餐而是我妈妈煮的家常菜
一个人住，我开始动不动打电话给我弟弟对他碎碎念当作关心
一个人住，我开始不享受这种莫名其妙的自由

其实我知道一切也不是很糟糕，并没有那么惨，真的
如果你说我太过寂寞乱写东西我可以承认，的确是这样
如果你说你羡慕我有那么多自由在这里胡乱炫耀，我也认了
如果我问你我寂寞是为了什么？那么你该怎么回答我？

21岁了，其实生日还没有到，还有4个月十多天
我不喜欢庆祝生日，老实说我觉得很麻烦，所以我也不是很喜欢帮人庆祝
我习惯给人一个回答，我妈妈生我的时候很辛苦
那么，我有过生日会吗？
其实有的，十一岁那年有过一次盛大的，我是个幸运的小孩
但那次之后，我弟弟因为家里经济不好，所以生日会很小很小也不热闹
所以那次以后我都不庆祝生日，因为我真的感到内疚，弟弟没得庆祝很可怜
现在除了几个记得我生日的朋友会和我吃一餐之外，生日还是普通日子

但是，21岁了...说了，还没到
我开始很想要一些东西，开始有了一些要求
如果我是个小孩，我会想要遥控飞机，我会想要去迪斯尼
但是，21岁了我还是很想要，但是我更想要的是一个生日会
这个生日会，我不需要礼物，我只要家人聚在一起
如果那时候我有了女朋友的话，那么也聚在一起
然后我要一个蛋糕，我要一些烛光气氛加上生日歌，唱得难听不要紧
然后然后，我们拍一张合照，我最期待的全家福，那个是最好的礼物
以后以后，弟弟21岁的时候，我们再来办一个这样的生日会


因为一个人住，日子越来越久我越来越像小孩子
因为一个人住，发现电话成了想家时候最好的工具
因为一个人住，我发觉我越来越有了人类该有的情感
因为一个人住，所以我写着这个文章
到了白天有人陪我说话的时候，我就不再想那么多...

一个人住

三更半夜我可以弹着吉他唱着歌没人管我
傍晚七点晚上八点我还可以倒头就睡不怕半夜睡不着
早上下午晚上可能到了晚上十一点我连一餐都还没吃
晚上一个人有时候我跟墙壁说话聊天或对着天空眨眼
没有电视机只有电脑陪我一整天我可以就此忘了时间
我并不是异类，因为我知道这周围有很多我这种同类
我们都是搬离家乡一个人住的孩子

一个人住，怎么样？
其实也不能说没有想过，当初决定要来读书的时候
就已经知道会一个人住，享有不受任何人捆绑的自由
已经料到不会有三餐也不会有正餐，嘛嘛档和快熟面是我的朋友
其实如果你问我，适应吗？一开始我怎么都说没感觉，其实真的没感觉

那么一个人住，到底是怎么样？
其实你可以做很多事情，而且不需要怕家里有谁在等你的门替你担心
好比如可以出门到几天不回家，或者在家里把音响开到最大最吵最大声
又或者可以几个礼拜不打扫房子几个月不换窗帘也不会被骂被碎碎念
再或者就是你可以带不同的女孩子回家过夜，如果你有这种习惯的话
当然最爽的是周末我可以赖床到下午4点都没有问题没有人管
其实一个人住还真得蛮享受，因为真的真的很轻，自由得飞了起来

一个人住，你享有另外一种方式的独立
一个人住，你活着你自己创出来的一种节奏
一个人住，你会忘了自己是谁的孩子
一个人住，你自己的世界你自己做主
一个人住，你会像我一样凌晨了还不睡觉在这里滴滴答答

有时候我真的觉得，我真得很与众不同很酷
因为我想我真的是一只人形蟑螂，不管到了哪里都不会觉得怎样，可以很适应
这些，都发生在21一岁之前

我妈妈说，我21岁的生日已经没有意义，因为我老早就独立了





因为在他乡求学，所以我搬出来一个人住
因为一个人住，所以我没有什么时间上的顾虑
因为一个人住，所以有时候我很寂寞
因为一个人住，所以想家的情绪
到了夜晚没人再说话的时候，越来越浓...

怎么平衡？

曾经我总会拉着妈妈不放要求她别去做工
曾经我总会在傍晚期待着妈妈从某个路口回家来
曾经我还会倒杯茶给放工回来的爸爸慰劳他
曾经我总会跟着婆婆到处逛做个人人称赞的乖孙子
曾经我和弟弟很雀跃的因为妈妈致电给远在他方的外婆
曾经我还会吵着要哥哥带我到处玩去捉鱼
曾经我们住在大家庭堂兄弟姐妹都活得很开心

现在我变成功课为先的学院生
现在我几乎需要零用钱才致电回家给妈妈
现在我跟爸爸的谈话一年累计下来不到5句
现在我只有在回乡最后一天才探望我婆婆
现在我没有致电给我外婆只有一年一次的探望
现在我也没什么和我哥哥说话
现在我只知道弟弟想要画画但我不知道他真正喜欢什么？
现在我住在外面跟堂兄弟姐妹都很陌生

这是什么？
什么时候我的家庭我的生活可以演变成这样？
时间还是金钱？是人为是天意？

我承认我没有一个称得上融洽的家庭也不富有
每个人都带着面具虚假的和对方相处，这不因该有
如果因为这样而说这是一个借口导致家庭不融洽
那么，有没有错？？

我因为不想让爸爸妈妈辛苦赚来供我读书的钱浪费
也想努力而闯出一番作为成名赚大钱完成梦想
而日日夜夜很努力拼了命的在拼着学业
我几乎忘了我多久没有打电话回家
我根本忘了我有着父母兄弟
我想得最多的是我的功课到底该怎么做？

我的婆婆多就没念我了？我的外婆多久没见我了？
我的堂兄弟姐妹，我的叔叔婶婶知不知道我在做什么？
这么多年来，我们一家人聚餐过几次？
我们家，没有一张真正的全家福，对不对？


我说，我们很努力为了生活为了将来在打拼
其实，我们到头来为了自己还是家人？
拼到最后，我们是否还有多少时间陪在家人身边，
一起闲话家常，一起开心一起玩闹？

忙碌不是借口，而是抹杀亲情的杀手
工作与亲情之间，你怎么平衡？谁多谁少？


摸着心自问，到底你把什么放在你心中第一位？






今天，被训了一顿
这个人，我妈妈不太喜欢她，
但却是她，教了我这么多... ...



(this is a translated version of the previous article,
which I think is important to share with others who may concerned)


Last time,I did hold my mum's hand begging her don't go to work
Last time,I did waiting for my mum back from work at evening,everyday
Last time,I did give my dad a cup of tea for his whole day hard work
Last time,I did followed my granny to everywhere,people said I'm a filial grandson
Last time,me and younger brother will be very exciting
when mum's giving a phone call to granny at penang
Last time,I did keep asking my elder brother bring me to play around
Last time,I lived in a big family,siblings and cousins were living hormony and happy

Now,I'm become a working machine for my college assignments
Now,I only will call my mum when I ran out of pocket money
Now,I hardly talk to my dad in one year and won't be over than 5 sentences
Now,I only pay a visit to my granny when the last day for my holiday
Now,I didn't call my granny at penang,only pay her a visit once a year
Now,I didn' talk to my elder brother much,perhaps really rarely
Now,I know my younger brother wants to draw and design,
but I don't really know what he wants?
Now,I'm living at outside,I don't contact my cousins

What are these??
Why my family and my life will become like this
Is about money or time?Or this is just a destiny?

Be frank,I don't really have a lovely family,we ain't rich at all
Everybody lives with a mask,it shouldn't happen
If this is a factor to cause the family problem
Then it should make sense?shouldn't it?

I don't want to waste the money from my parents,they worked hard
That's why I worked really hard on my assignments,to achieve the summit and my dreams
All because I wanted to make them proud and satisfy myself
I almost forgot how long I didn't call back to my home
and I really forgot,I have my parents and siblings
What I've think all the time is,how I'm going to improve on my assignments?

How long does my granny didn't yelling on me?How long does my Granny didn't see me?
My cousins,my uncle aunties,do they know what am I doing now?
These years,do we have a family gathering?
We don't have a proper family portrait,do we?

I said,we are working hard for future
actually,we do all of these for family or ourselves?
At the end of the day,we still have how many times to with our family?
A warm talk,some concern or playing around.....do we still can?

Busy is not an excuse,but a murderer of the family relationship
Working and Family,how you going to balance?

Ask your heart,answer it honestly,Which you putted at the first place in your heart?



I've been given this lesson of life by a person
This person,my mum doesn't really like her
But,is she to taught me all of these...

Where ever I go, I bring you along

最近说来，我活得蛮开心也很充实
毕竟在课业上我达到了自己所订下的目标，拍拍手鼓励自己~
也因为看了YesMan和日剧Hero，所以我对生活也越来越积极
说真的，很棒！真的，很棒！






这是一张speed painting
为了挑战而对自己下的一个战书，45分钟
图片里是个旅者到拖着一个洋娃娃

我最主要想表达的是
不过以后我将有怎么样的未来，将飞到多远的地方
装满虚荣的沉重行李将不会是首要
排在我第一位的是在我心中最独一无二最珍贵的人
我愿意过得平凡也要把你带在身边

带着娃娃的方式是否很有问题？
的确没错？的确错了，但是就不想改过来
虽然对待很多事情的方式错了，但是我还是我
坚持做最真实的自己，不想带着面具自欺欺人


对我来说我可以花一辈子的时间去了解一个女人
到最后不管她是怎么样的人，就算我发觉所知道的都是错误
但我不在乎，因为吸引我的是那一个感觉

我的心这样告诉我

就算我知道我一辈子拥有不了你
就算要我一辈子单身，我都没有关系
至少，我不背叛我的心




在我内心，我一直都是个简单的人